Even typing the word “mission” tires me; however, it is do or die time, and I
mean that literally!
I have been tracking my weight for years now. I have not one sweet freaking clue why I do it… Actually I think I do know why. I think, despite the fact that I don’t exercise and I eat whatever I want, that I will magically lose weight and become healthy without lifting a finger to do it. Ah, ever the dreamer am I! Now tonight when I stepped on the scale, (after it made the usual cracking noise), I weighed in at 319.2 lbs. Ok, pick your jaws up off the floor… I know right, what a ridiculously high number! So, you can see why my life needs to change.
Actually to be honest, it’s not even the number that bothers me. It’s the not being able to walk a block without having pain in my lower back and gasping for air like I’ve run 10 blocks, uphill all the way. I’ve never in my life been this out of shape. It scares me, a lot!
And the embarrassment… Even those of you who know me very well don’t believe I’m shy; but I am, I’m very shy! I just don’t let it show and I don’t let it win. So imagine being extremely shy and adding extremely fat to it. Yeah, not a fun combination! I’m not very social anymore and tend to hide away. If I do go out, the whole time I am consumed with trying not to be noticed.
It’s also the shame of it. I cannot describe how deeply ashamed of myself I am! I let this happen. Despite having lost 100 lbs about 12 yrs ago because I was way overweight, and promising Mom and myself I would never go back to this again… I did, and then some!
I have been tracking my weight for years now. I have not one sweet freaking clue why I do it… Actually I think I do know why. I think, despite the fact that I don’t exercise and I eat whatever I want, that I will magically lose weight and become healthy without lifting a finger to do it. Ah, ever the dreamer am I! Now tonight when I stepped on the scale, (after it made the usual cracking noise), I weighed in at 319.2 lbs. Ok, pick your jaws up off the floor… I know right, what a ridiculously high number! So, you can see why my life needs to change.
Actually to be honest, it’s not even the number that bothers me. It’s the not being able to walk a block without having pain in my lower back and gasping for air like I’ve run 10 blocks, uphill all the way. I’ve never in my life been this out of shape. It scares me, a lot!
And the embarrassment… Even those of you who know me very well don’t believe I’m shy; but I am, I’m very shy! I just don’t let it show and I don’t let it win. So imagine being extremely shy and adding extremely fat to it. Yeah, not a fun combination! I’m not very social anymore and tend to hide away. If I do go out, the whole time I am consumed with trying not to be noticed.
It’s also the shame of it. I cannot describe how deeply ashamed of myself I am! I let this happen. Despite having lost 100 lbs about 12 yrs ago because I was way overweight, and promising Mom and myself I would never go back to this again… I did, and then some!
So, starting immediately,
this is what I’m going to do. I am going to start eating right and moving my
arse! Then once a week, likely on Sunday evenings, I will write a little blog
on how lucky someone is I didn’t kill them during the week. Just kidding… sort
of… :) Actually, I will
write about how I am doing, my challenges, or whatever strikes my fancy at that
time.
Now here’s the fun part. Scott, my husband, is also going to get healthier with me, and we have a bet! We will check in at the end of every month and whoever loses the highest percentage of weight wins. If I win, it’s a trip to bingo for me (I love bingo but am lucky to get there once a year), and if he wins, he gets the money and I stay home. At the end of the year, if financials allow, the overall winner will get a Canon EF 70 - 200, F2.8 zoom lens. This lens would (I mean WILL) allow me to get fantastic action shots, which I have recently discovered is my favourite thing to photograph.
Please cheer us on everyone! This will definitely be a tough road for us but we know it must be done. We are very much looking forward to becoming the healthier and happier versions of ourselves we once were.
Now here’s the fun part. Scott, my husband, is also going to get healthier with me, and we have a bet! We will check in at the end of every month and whoever loses the highest percentage of weight wins. If I win, it’s a trip to bingo for me (I love bingo but am lucky to get there once a year), and if he wins, he gets the money and I stay home. At the end of the year, if financials allow, the overall winner will get a Canon EF 70 - 200, F2.8 zoom lens. This lens would (I mean WILL) allow me to get fantastic action shots, which I have recently discovered is my favourite thing to photograph.
Please cheer us on everyone! This will definitely be a tough road for us but we know it must be done. We are very much looking forward to becoming the healthier and happier versions of ourselves we once were.
Stay tuned…
Oh Darlene, I wish I lived closer to you. I have to get walking again too but just don't have the energy to do it. I too am soooo overweight. In my case, it's depression eating. I will have a heart attack. There's no doubt about it. Fat and stressed is a lethal combination. Good luck on your journey and, if you fall off the wagon, haul your arse back up on it and start again right away. Don't give up. If you start enough times, it will become old hat. And you know that Scott's probably going to lose more weight than you in the first month because men do. All they have to do is shit, shower and shave and they've taken off 20 pounds. Don't let it get you down though! I'm there with you in spirit! xo
ReplyDeleteIt's such a vicious circle Deb! I am tired all the time and the thought of walking literally brings me to tears. Plus, I just can't walk very far anymore. The worse I feel, the more I eat... It's a bitch! I stress eat a lot, and depression eat, and eat because I love food, and because I'm watching something on tv, etc. etc....
DeleteI'd encourage you to join me in this battle, but I know from a LOT of experience, you have to be ready yourself. No matter how much you think about it, dream about it, or curse the weight, it won't work until you're ready to do it. I do hope you're ready soon though!
One thing we have going for us, is good genes. Those Marryatt's are tough critters! Plus, on your Mom's side they seem to live long lives too do they not?
Thanks SO much for the well wishes and advice! Scott will not beat me... at least not if I can help it. I tried to talk him into buying himself deep fried taters tonight. That might have been a little mean of me... LOL
Love Ya! xo